Which app is better for ENM dating?

The best app depends on your city and goals. Feeld wins in major metro areas for community quality. OKCupid wins for larger user pools in smaller cities. Most serious ENM daters use both.

Both apps have free tiers with basic functionality. Premium features cost $9-$35/month depending on the app and tier. We recommend starting free for 2 weeks before upgrading.

Which app has more polyamorous users?

Feeld has the largest dedicated ENM community, especially in major cities. OKCupid has a larger overall user base with ENM filters. User density varies significantly by location.

Feeld vs #Open: Which is Better for ENM Dating?

Side-by-side comparison for polyamory & ethical non-monogamy · Updated April 2026

Quick Verdict

Winner: Feeld for most users
Both are built for ENM, but Feeld's larger user base typically makes it the more practical choice. #Open wins on intentional design and less hookup-focused culture.

Side-by-Side Comparison

Feature	Feeld	#Open
Designed for ENM	✓ Yes	Partial / No
Couple profiles	✓ Supported	Limited
User density	Large cities best	All areas
Free tier value	Limited	More generous
LGBTQ+ inclusive	Very strong	Moderate
Privacy features	Incognito available	Standard
ENM community feel	High — everyone here is ENM-aware	Mixed — must filter

When Feeld is the Better Choice

You're in or near a major metro area
You want a community that already speaks ENM fluently — no explaining needed
Queer, kinky, or non-binary identity is part of your experience
You have a partner to link profiles with
Community quality matters more than raw quantity of profiles

When #Open is the Better Choice

You live outside major metro areas
You're newer to ENM and want exposure to a bigger dating pool
Budget is a real constraint — better free tier
You want to cast a wider net before narrowing
Match volume matters right now over community specificity

The Honest Recommendation

Most serious ENM daters use both. Download both free versions, use each for 2 weeks, and only pay for the one that's showing real results in your specific location. "Best" is always the app with the most active compatible users where you actually live.

See All ENM App Reviews → ENM Profile Tips →

What Real ENM Daters Say

We collected feedback from polyamorous daters across multiple US cities about their experiences comparing these platforms. The pattern that emerged was consistent: no single app wins universally. The "better" app depends almost entirely on where you live and what you're looking for.

Daters in major metro areas (NYC, SF, LA, Chicago) consistently reported better results with ENM-dedicated apps due to critical mass of users. Daters in medium-sized cities and suburban areas almost always reported OKCupid as more practical simply because the user pool was large enough to find compatible people.

One pattern worth noting: many successful ENM daters reported using two apps simultaneously for the first 60–90 days, then dropping the one with worse results in their specific area. This "parallel testing" approach, while requiring more time investment upfront, significantly outperformed committing to a single app.

Scenario	Monthly Cost	3-Month Total
Both apps, free tiers only	$0	$0
One app premium, one free	$10–$15	$30–$45
Both apps, both premium	$20–$45	$60–$135

Scenario

Monthly Cost

3-Month Total

Both apps, free tiers only

One app premium, one free

$10–$15

$30–$45

Both apps, both premium

$20–$45

$60–$135

Final Verdict: Which Should You Download First?

If you live in a major city (NYC, LA, SF, Chicago, Seattle, Portland, Denver, Austin): Download the ENM-dedicated app first. The community density in these cities makes it worth prioritizing.

If you live anywhere else: Start with OKCupid for the user base, and add the ENM-specific app as a secondary option. The ENM-dedicated apps tend to have very sparse user bases outside major metros.

If you're new to ENM: OKCupid's larger, more mixed pool and gentler learning curve makes it the better starting point. Read our beginner's guide before you start.

If you're experienced: You likely already know your community's preferred platform. Trust that local knowledge over any general recommendation.