ENM & Polyamory Glossary: 40 Terms Explained

Umbrella term for any consensual non-monogamous relationship structure. All partners are aware and consenting.

Multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with everyone's knowledge and consent. From Greek/Latin meaning "many loves."

A network of people connected through romantic and/or sexual relationships. Can be any configuration — chain, web, star, etc.

Your partner's partner. The person your partner is also dating. You may or may not have any direct relationship with your metamour.

The intense euphoric feeling at the start of a new romantic connection. Extremely common in poly relationships — and worth being aware of so it doesn't destabilize existing partnerships.

The feeling of joy you get from seeing your partner happy with another person. Often described as the "opposite of jealousy" in poly communities. A skill that can be cultivated.

A partner you live with. Not necessarily a "primary" — just someone who shares your physical home.

A bisexual person (often a woman) who joins an existing couple as an equal third partner. So-called because of how rarely the ideal match exists in reality.

A couple seeking a bisexual woman to add to their relationship as a third. Viewed critically in poly communities due to the inherent power imbalance and objectification often involved.

An approach that rejects hierarchies and predefined labels. Each connection is defined entirely by the people in it, without reference to social scripts.

A style where everyone in a polycule knows each other well — partners, metamours, all comfortable sharing a meal together.

Partners know about each other but have little direct interaction. Less interconnected than kitchen table poly — each relationship exists somewhat independently.

Practicing polyamory while prioritizing personal independence. You have multiple partners but don't nest, merge finances, or make someone a "primary."

Explicit partner ranking: primary, secondary, sometimes tertiary. Primary partners get more time, resources, and life integration.

All partners treated with equal priority — no primary/secondary structure. Often combined with relationship anarchy principles.

A closed poly relationship — all members are committed to each other and don't seek outside partners. Like a monogamous relationship but with more people.

In hierarchical poly, primary partners sometimes have veto power over each other's outside connections. Controversial — many poly people consider it a form of control.

An agreement where partners are free to pursue outside connections but don't share details. Works for some, but often leads to problems — honesty tends to be foundational in ENM.