Home › ENM Dating by City 2026

ENM Dating by City 2026

New York City, NY

Top app: Feeld · Largest enm community in the us

NYC has 15,000+ weekly active Feeld users. The Brooklyn and Manhattan scenes are especially active. Check out poly meetups at The Muse Brooklyn....

City Guide →

San Francisco, CA

Top app: Feeld · Historic polyamory capital of the us

SF has the highest per-capita ENM population of any US city. The tech community overlaps heavily with poly culture here....

City Guide →

Los Angeles, CA

Top app: Feeld · Creative industry-driven poly community

LA's creative community drives heavy Feeld usage. Mention your industry—artists and musicians dominate the poly scene here....

City Guide →

Chicago, IL

Top app: OKCupid · Academic and professional poly community

OKCupid outperforms Feeld in Chicago thanks to the university and professional communities. The Wicker Park area has an active ENM social scene....

City Guide →

Austin, TX

Top app: OKCupid · Eclectic keep-austin-weird poly culture

Austin's 'Keep It Weird' culture extends to relationships. Outdoor interests (hiking, kayaking) are common conversation starters in ENM profiles here....

City Guide →

Denver, CO

Top app: Feeld · Outdoor-lifestyle enm community

Denver has a surprisingly balanced ENM scene across all three major apps. Outdoor activities—skiing, hiking—are how this community bonds IRL....

City Guide →

Seattle, WA

Top app: Feeld · Tech-driven progressive poly community

Seattle's Amazon/Microsoft workforce has created a large, progressive ENM community. The Capitol Hill neighborhood is the social hub for poly dating....

City Guide →

Portland, OR

Top app: Feeld · Progressive independent poly community

Portland punches above its weight in ENM culture. #Open performs unusually well here compared to other mid-size cities....

City Guide →

Why Location Matters More Than Anything Else

The single most important variable in ENM dating app success isn't which app you use — it's where you live. Feeld, the best-regarded ENM-dedicated app, is genuinely excellent in New York and San Francisco and genuinely sparse in mid-sized cities. OKCupid, often dismissed as "mainstream," outperforms dedicated ENM apps in hundreds of US cities simply because it has enough users to make matching viable.

Our city guides exist because general app rankings aren't useful for ENM daters outside major metros. "Feeld is the best ENM app" is true in about 20 US cities and misleading everywhere else.

Don't See Your City?

We currently cover the 8 highest-traffic ENM dating cities in the US. If your city isn't listed, the general rule applies: use OKCupid as your primary app for user volume, and add Feeld or #Open as a secondary if you're in or near a metro area of 500K+ people. Contact us to request a guide for your city — we prioritize based on reader requests.