ENM & Polyamory Dating in New York City, NY
Home to the largest ENM community in the US · Population 8.3M · Top app: Feeld · Updated April 2026
🏙 New York City Insider Tip: NYC has 15,000+ weekly active Feeld users. The Brooklyn and Manhattan scenes are especially active. Check out poly meetups at The Muse Brooklyn.
App Success Rates in New York City
Scores based on active user density, match quality feedback, and community reports from New York City ENM daters.
Feeld — 94% match success rate
OKCupid — 87% match success rate
#Open — 78% match success rate
Our recommendation for New York City: Start with Feeld and add a second app for broader coverage.
The New York City Poly Scene
Ethical non-monogamy has strong roots in New York City. As a city known for its largest ENM community in the US, you'll find active communities both online and at regular in-person events.
Local ENM Events & Community
- Poly NYC Meetup (monthly), ENM Happy Hour, Queer Poly Mixer
Most New York City ENM events are organized through Meetup.com, Facebook groups, and FetLife. Search "polyamory New York City" or "ENM New York City" to find current listings. New events appear frequently.
Which App Works Best in New York City?
| App | Best For in New York City | Score |
|---|---|---|
| Feeld | Queer, kink-positive, experienced poly community | ★ 94% |
| OKCupid | Newcomers, larger user net, free features | ★ 87% |
| #Open | Intentional ENM, hashtag-based discovery | ★ 78% |
Dating Tips Specific to New York City
- Mention your neighborhood — New York City is large enough that geography matters for scheduling meetups
- Reference local events and venues in your profile — it's an authentic conversation starter in this community
- Be direct about your relationship structure in your bio — the New York City ENM community values transparency
- Check FetLife for local poly meetups — even if kink isn't your thing, they're a major hub for ENM community organizing here
- Be patient with app response times — New York City ENM daters tend to be selective, which is actually good news for quality matches
Finding Community Beyond Dating Apps
Dating apps are just one way to connect with the New York City ENM community. Consider:
- Attending local poly meetups before you're even ready to date — community first
- Following New York City poly Facebook groups for event announcements
- Checking r/polyamory and the New York City subreddit for local connection threads
- Finding an ENM-affirming therapist if you're newer to this — our therapist guide can help